I love Christmas, not only is it my birthday, but now it is little Addy's birthday as well (or 2 days after Christmas anyways). There is something different stirring inside me this Christmas though. I love giving, getting, and buying presents. I love watching Ella's face when she gets the best thing in the world-  but it all seems different this year. Something inside of me would rather see the face of someone less fortunate opening something they never thought they'd have. How can I want more when I already have so much. God is prompting in me a spirit to give. I want to give outside the walls of my family. I want my children to want to give. I want to make a difference in the lives of those in this world around us. But where do you even start? I talked to Dave this morning and I guess God has been prompting his heart as well because he quickly agreed. We need to give a special gift to our Church this Christmas. No doubt everyone, every organization is struggling financially during this time but the Vineyard needs our help and they need our help to do the right things. So many lives are being changed at that place. I am amazed everyday to hear the stories I hear. I am jealous that Dave gets to work at such an amazing place and I am so blessed to even get to go. I know our money is not much but if God prompted the hearts of the 6,000 people that attend the Vineyard the way he did ours a little bit adds up to a lot. I guess small things done with love really will change the world. 

Job 31:23-28, 

4 "If I have put my trust in gold or said to pure gold, 'You are my security,' if I have rejoiced over my great wealth, the fortune my hands had gained, if I have regarded the sun in its radiance or the moon moving in splendor, so that my heart was secretly enticed and my hand offered them a kiss of homage then these also would be sins to be judged,  for I would have been unfaithful to God on high."

God - forgive me for putting my trust and my value in the things this world has to offer me. Help me to put my trust in you, help me to give the way you have given to me. Give me your eyes so I can see and give me your heart so I can give. Instead of the gift of want, want, want help me to pass on the gift of give, give, give to my girls. 

I can't believe it has almost been a year since Addy joined our family. She is such a great part it is hard to remember what it was like without her. She brings so much joy to our home. What a difference a year makes. So many things have changed for me this year. I have gone from full time ministry at my home church of 27 years - where I was constantly surrounded by youth, teaching, preaching, organizing, and outreaching to supporting my husband a his new place in ministry at the Vineyard, staying home raising my girls, and desperately trying to find my place in this new role. I love being a mom, I love staying home with my girls, and I love having a husband that is so passionate about ministry. I am so thankful that life has not been about me this year. I am guilty of thinking God has big plans for my life and forgetting to remember about the plans he has for the lives around me. I have learned more and been challenged more as an individual than ever before. Funny how when you take the focus off yourself and you begin to serve others and support others God is quick to make sure you are taken care of as well. I don't know what God has in store for me this next year but I am excited to say I will serve and support my family with the anticipation of big things.

Thank you God for blessing my life. May I honor you with the way I cherish my blessings. My cup overflows. To you be all the glory forever and ever

I am thankful for...

my sweet husband 

my sweet girls

that I can stay home and be a mom right now

the influence I have over my girls

lower gas prices

the Vineyard

God's call on my life

God's call on my husband's life

my family being so close to us

having help raising my girls

chocolate chunk brownies with white icing

coffee in the morning

my friends

my best friend, Crystal

my house

my past experiences that have shaped me

that God is still working with me on patience

that God is who He says He is

that I have power through Him

that eventually, through Him I can become a patient mom (even with no sleep)

I want to remember all that I am thankful for more often. Thanksgiving and Christmas should not be the exception. 

Thank you God that you have blessed me and my family. You have given us so much life. You have given us so much period. Even though I do not deserve the least of it you still stand by me and lift me up. Help me to realize daily how much you have given me. I love you so much. May I be a blessing to others because of the mighty works you have done in my life. I give you all the praises. 

I love you Father, Amen. 

Today may be one of the three best days of my life. We are on vacation but that's not why. Dave and I got to have one of the best conversations with Ella today. I will never forget this moment. It went something like this.
Daddy those girls in my book are mean
Oh really Ella, why are they mean
Because they don't have Jesus in their heart
How do you know they don't have Jesus in their heart
Because they are mean daddy
Mommy, I told Daddy that the girls in my book are mean because they don't have Jesus in their heart
That's right Ella
Do I have Jesus in my heart mommy
Well, Ella you have to ask Jesus to come and live in your heart, is that something that you want to do
Yea
All you have to do is ask Jesus to come and live in your heart and he will
Then I will be good
Well, Ella, you are already so good but Jesus will come and live in your heart and help you be even better
Okay mommy
At this point in time I sent her to Dave since this is his speciality but I stood in the doorway and listened to their conversation...
So, Ella you know that Jesus loves you
Yes Daddy
And you know he loved you so much that he died for you and he wants to live in your heart forever
Yes Daddy and he will make me a better person
Okay Ella well the Bible says you have to ask Jesus to come into your heart so I am going to pray and you need to repeat after me okay.
Okay
Dear Jesus
I love you
Thank you for loving me
I am sorry for the times I am bad
Please come into my heart and live
Help me to be a better girl
I love you
Amen
Ella: Now Jesus lives in my heart daddy?
Yea Ella
Mommy guess what
what Ella
Jesus lives in my heart!

and then we threw a party and called all the grandma's and grandpa's and mimi's and uncle david's and told them that Jesus now lived in Ella's heart

Oh man, I love this girl so much. my heart has been so blessed today to know that Ella's name is written on God's book of life. He has big plans for her life. way bigger than we could ever dream. I am so blessed to walk through this world with her. Thank you Jesus for dying for my daughter. I love you so much

Life has been crazy busy lately. But I am loving every minute of this craziness with my girls! God has blessed me so much.

I am pushing to become and example for others to follow. More so I am pushing to become an example that I want my girls to follow. I want to stand before them as they grow up and say come and follow me as I follow Christ. I want them to see and grow up with a mom that is crazy in love with Jesus. I want them to want what I have for themselves. I want to inspire them.

Father make me someone that my girls can follow. Give me peace, and patience, give me a gentle spirit. May my words be uplifting and pleasing to you in every way. Thank you for my family, I am so blessed. Use me to change them. Use them to grow me. 

I love you

Leader

Significant leaders lead by example - Can you say to someone follow me as I follow Christ?  Can you say that to those who know you best? Better yet, would they follow you because they know you know the way?

Lead by example

"Set an example for others in life in love, in faith and in purity." 1 Tim 4:12

I have a sick baby girl :(

I am now the proud mom of a walker!  Addy's walking 2 days before she turns 9 months! Oh man we are in trouble.

These are my three favorite people in the entire world. I love, love, love them.

Delight

Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."

This is my most fav scriptures. The desires of my heart. I just love the way God works. He knows that when we delight in Him His heart becomes our heart. His loves become our loves. When we truly surrender our lives and begin to live the way He wants us to live His will becomes what we want. Ultimately, by delighting in the Lord we don't change Him, He changes us. He moves into our hearts and our lives and begins reshaping our goals, our values, our priorities. I love this. Everything starts with delight. You MUST fall in love with Jesus. You must seek after Him. Give yourself to Him. Learn who He is. Study His Word. Worship Him. Praise Him. Adore Him. Beg Him to shape your heart to His. The Lord is faithful. He never leaves you, He never forsakes you. And He will be true to His promises. You will receive the desires of your heart - every single one - because His heart will become your heart. 

So I ask you this- Do you have the desires of your heart? Do you feel satisfied? Is something missing? If so, find it in Jesus.

sweet babies

You know what one of the best sounds in the world is? 

 When you sweet child is old enough to remember the words of songs and they are sitting in their car seat singing, "This little light of mine,"  

I love that Ella loves to sing about her God.  She is etching his words on her heart before she even knows how bad she will need them.  

Love it

Proverbs 3:3-4

 "Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.  Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man."

Believing God

Most of us say that we believe in God but do we truly show that we BELIEVE in God.  

-God is who He says He is

-He can do what He says He can do

-I am who God says I am

-I can do all things through Christ

-Gods word is alive and active in me

God promises us so many things.  Do we live our lives expecting these promises of God or do we live our lives in disbelief, missing out on the promises of God?  

I believe that God has placed a calling on my life.  I know I have been called and gifted to preach and teach.  I want to share his promises with everyone. But I am also a mom at heart. I love, love, love being with my girls.  If God's promises really are true then why have I been living with the excuse of being a busy mom with small kids here lately.  God is so much bigger than me and my children. 

Father- forgive me for my disbelief.  I know you are bigger than the box I have put you in lately. I am so past ready to find my place in ministry in this new chapter of our lives. Open my eyes to where you are moving. I believe you have called and equipped me and I believe that I can do your will and raise my girls at the same time. I believe you will provide all that I need along the way. Thank you for your blessings.  I need you so much.

lucky

guess we are one of the lucky ones around since our power kicked on about 4 this morning.  yea!!! I don't know what we would do without Dora this morning.  Yesterday was crazy.  I have never been in so much wind.  Imagine what it felt like on the coast.  Now I can see.  We probably didn't even experience 10% of what went on there.  

can I join you?

I will never forget Brianne.  Brianne walked in to our youth ministry as a confused, alone 6th grader.  She came from a broken family.  Had a dad that did drugs and a mom that was always working and wasn't extremely involved in her life.  At one point in time her dad was put into jail for selling drugs and her mom moved her boyfriend (which bri didn't like) into their house.  And before long they were living each week in a hotel because they didn't have a house.

Bri just wanted someone to follow, someone to show her how to live her life.  When she was first given the message of Jesus she ran with it.  She gave her whole life to this God who she believed really had an amazing plan for her. She had every reason to give up but she never did.  she dove straight in to ministry. She began inviting her friends to church every week. Some weeks she would come in to the church and work for hours on making up invitations for them. Whatever it took to get them there. She worked her butt off. She began living her life for Jesus. She really bought into the fact that He had a plan for her and that he was going to use her to do something big in life. All through jr. high and high school she never allowed herself to get caught up in her own life. She never allowed things to take priority over her relationship with God. She constantly looked for more opportunities to serve him and to minister to her friends. Each week she would make time to come to the church and make phone calls inviting people to church. When she went out with friends it was only once her ministry was done and her work for the Lord at the Church was finished. And even when she was with her friends she was always looking for opportunity to love and serve others. It wasn't long before Bri was in high school and she was helping teach in the jr. high ministry. She began to live her life as a role model for the girls. She poured herself into them, telling them to call her if they needed anyone to talk to.  offering them advice from what type of clothes they should wear to what type of friends they should have.  Bri lived her life for others.  She allowed God to use her and take hold of every part of her life.

Pretty soon Bri was feeling a call from the Lord into full time ministry.  She began to preach on Sunday nights in our youth program, she got an internship at the Church and became a huge leader in every way.  Now Bri is a beautiful, chrisitan young lady on a scholarship at Christian college majoring in ministry.  God has already used her to reach many young people and her future in Him is limitless

Julie came to youth the same day as Bri.  She too had issues in her family.  Her dad was out of work on disability and her mom had to work a lot.  Her older sister was 16 and having her first baby.  Soon she would be 18 and pregnant with her second.  They struggled to pay their bills each week as most families do. 

Julie was presented with the same message of Jesus the same day as Bri.  Julie too wanted someone to follow, someone to show her how to live.  She wanted this God that was talked about.  He sounded like just what she needed.  he could probably do big things in her life.  So she tried it , she started doing her Bible study, she started writing in her prayer journal, and she started going to youth each Wednesday and Sunday.  Through all of this something still seemed like it was missing.  Julie still didn't feel quite complete.  It wasn't too long before Julie started looking elsewhere for acceptance and satisfaction.  She started hanging out with the wrong crowd, doing things she shouldn't do, going places she shouldn't go.  She began to drift farther and farther away from the Jesus that she once was so excited about.  Julie began to live her life for herself.  She wanted to be pretty, she wanted to be popular, she wanted whatever seemed to be the latest and greatest thing.  She allowed sports to get in the way of Church always choosing practice over Disicpleship, she allowed being cool to get in the way of doing what pleased God.  She began to fight with her mom and dad over the rules they had set in their house - thinking she was big enough to make her own choices. She acted out in school, got caught cheating, lying, you name it she was a part of it.  she lived life so that she would have fun and didn't spend too much time thinking about others.  

Today Julie is searching.  She has graduated high school and knows that there has to be more to life that what she is living right now.  She is unsatisfied.  no matter what she buys, how many friends she has, or what job she is doing she just feels like something is always missing. Will this ever end? Will she ever feel like enough is enough? Will she ever find joy, peace, acceptance, love?  Where did she go wrong?  All these questions she asks over and over again in her mind.

So what's the difference?  Julie and Bri both come from similar families.  They both received the message of Jesus on the same day, at the same time.  How could two, young, beautiful girls turn out so different.  

Here's the difference - 

When Bri gave her life to Christ she gave it to him completely.  she handed him everything - her family, her friends, her future, her school, her popularity, her ministry.  she said here I am God do with me what you want - I am here for you to use.  Take my life.  Julie on the other hand gave her life to the Lord saying, Here i am Lord come join me where I am.  I am going to keep the same friends but I want you to bless our friendship, I am going to watch and listen to what I want to but I want you to bless me anyway.  I am going to follow my own rules but I want you to honor that.  I will serve you if you will adapt your life to me.  Here I am Lord - join me

God has a plan for us - but we must surrender our lives completely.  We must empty ourselves and allow him to fill us up in whatever way he chooses.  When we give God this opportunity he promises not only to fill our lives but to overflow our lives. He promises to give us a hope and a future. He promises to give us joy even when we are going through the worst times, He promises never to leave us and always to love us.

Have you joined God today?

Preschooler

I am now the proud mom of a preschooler.  Ella went to her first day of Tuesday school at SpringHill Church of Christ.  She loved it!  I am so sad - I can't believe I have a preschooler!  I love that girl.

No Mommy

"Mommy did God make the sky?"

"Yea, Ella, and the clouds, and the grass, and the flowers."

"No Mommy, God didn't make OUR flowers, we buyed our flowers from the store."

This was my conversation with my 3 year old daughter as we walked earlier this week.  She has also just recently informed me that her name is no longer Ella because she has changed it to Isabelle.

mastititus

yea, I've got it.  And unless you are a nursing mom or have been at one point in time you don't know what that is but it stinks!  We are having fun in the Dooley house.  

Love Ya

presence

Prayer has become  different for me with two kids running around, interrupting my every thought.  I run through my day taking care of everyone's needs.  Changing diapers, fixing princess noodles, watching dance recitals, and cleaning up the same things over and over again.  Through all of this madness the daily quiet time I used to spend with God has changed so much.  I find myself taking extra long in the shower because those are the few minutes, if any, that I have to myself.  And once the kids are asleep (which is sometimes a chore) I find that it is much easier to turn on the t.v. and allow myself to get distracted by the noise rather than spend a few minutes alone with the Father.  I have had to move my prayer from my to-do list to my to-live list.  Praying and being with the Father is something that we live out.  It is something that can go with us every day should we choose to take it with us.  When we take the Father with us things change because He begins to carry our loads, He begins to ease our pains, He begins to open our eyes.  Though it has taken some getting used to I love taking God with me everywhere I go.  I love mixing it up all the time and staying on the edge of my relationship with him.  I am also challenged to grow through this because of the new awareness of the presence of God in my life.  

What would happen in your everyday life if you lived like the Father  was literally in the room with you. How would you respond to your spouse? How patient would you be with your 3 year old? How would you treat those that are not so nice to you? I challenge you to practice the presence of God (and read that book if you haven't). Get used to living like He is right next to you (because He is), allow His presence to overwhelm your every move, your every decision, your every word. Allow it to completely change you.  Then the world will notice your prayer life and they will praise your Father in heaven.  

Father, thank you for your mercy, thank you for your grace.  Thank you for being beside me even when I do not take the time to acknowledge your presence.  May I live my life to be a blessing to you.

Vacation was good

Michigan

We are having a great time with our friends in St. Joe, Michigan.  I love the Colp's, being here makes me remember how much fun we have always had together.  I love even more that Ella is so in love with her Mimi and Uncle David.  She has them wrapped around her little finger.  God has so been good to both of our families though even just two years ago we never would have said we would be where we are.  Transitions are hard but what comes out in the end is always better than what was there before. Refined - Gotta love that - when you can look back and see why God choose to do what He did.

"Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

LOVE THEM - BEAT BRAZIL!!!

Words and Thoughts

"May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer." Psalm 19:14

Help me today O'Father to show you in every way.  Above all may my girls look at me and realize that their mom serves a God that is life-changing.  

oh yea!

Pumped!  Dave bought me a double jogging stroller and it just got here.  I can't wait to put it together.

Man, I love this girl.  Even though I sometimes feel like she never listens, she always thinks she knows best, and she wakes me up EVERY night in the middle of the night by crawling in my bed.  Today was just one of those perfect days where you get to stay home all day, everyone in their jammies, without anything to worry about.  

Psalm 37:4, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."

GAP

Went to the Gap Outlet today.  Bri needed pants before she left for college.  Man, I can't believe she is going to be a Freshman in college this fall.   It seems like just yesterday she came walking into our youth center as an unsure 6th grader.  Now she is headed to Cedarville to major in Youth Ministry and minor in Women's Ministry.  Pouring into her life has been a privilege.  You think that as a Youth Pastor you are helping change these kids and then when you stop and look back over the years you realize how much they have changed you.  Bri's going to make it - even though no one would have blamed her for throwing in the towel - she overcame and set the example for the believers following behind her.  I wish I would have known the truth she knows when I was her age.   

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 

Be strong in me now o'God.  I am nothing without you.  

Gosh, today is one of those days I really miss my best friend.  

There is nothing like a best friend.  I need her even when I don't know it.  I would do anything for First Church in St. Joe, Michigan and The Vineyard to be closer together.  

God is good - even when we are apart.  

So looking forward for August 22nd!

Love you Crystal!

The Love of Christ

 layed next to my sweet baby girl last night as she drifted off to sleep.  she has an obsession of playing with my hair and humming a song each night.  Tonight instead of wishing she would hurry up so I could get back to doing all that I had to do I laid there and stared at her precious little face.  I thought about how much I loved her.  I can't even describe the intensity of my love.  It is completly all that I am and all that I have.  I would do anything for her, give up anything for her, go anywhere for her. 

This must be how God felt about His son as he watched Him.  He probably watched over his every move as he walked upon this earth.  I am sure there were times when Jesus, as a baby, was sleeping and God himself reached down and touched his precious little face.  Each time Jesus fell down and hurt himself God the Father probably wanted to pick Him up and comfort him, let him know that it was going to be okay.  I am sure that as Jesus was taken before Pilot and handed over to be beaten and crucified He wanted to intervene and take the beating for His son.  Each time they slashed his back, God himself, fliched back in horror as He watched His only Son go through this terrible event. 

Imagine how much God loved His son.  Now, imagine how much God loves us.  He loved us so much that He gave up his only son.  He sacrificed His son for us.  The same son that He delighted in and cherished.  He gave him up for us.  So that we could live and have life to the fullest.  This is amazing to me because I couldn't imagine sacrificing Ella for anyone.  I just love her too much.

Thank you Father for your sacrifice.  I love you so much, you have given so much to me.  I am so unworthy of your son.  I did not deserve the precious gift that you gave.  I pray that my life is glorifying to you in all ways.

Finally

So I finally got Luke Dooley to help me figure out this whole Blogger thing (I know I stink).  I am excited to have anything other than a 3 year old and a 7 month old to share my thoughts with.  

God gave me a word yesterday.  I have been in a continual grumpy mood for the past three days.  Addy is teething and seriously I haven't slept for three nights.  It is so getting old but I continually used lack of sleep to excuse myself for grumbling and complaining about anything or everything as Dave would probably tell you.  

2 Corinthians 6:4-6 says, "Rather as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way; in great endurance, in troubles, hardships and distress, in beatings, imprisonments and riots, in hard work, sleepless nights and hungar, in purity, understanding, patience, and kindness..."

Seriously, sleepless nights is on the list.  It probably shouldn't even be there  I would rather not sleep than be beaten, put in prison or HUNGRY!  

Okay so, new outlook today - I can make it and  I will glorify God in my sleepless night.  

Quiet days

I want to quote you something that has helped change my life these past few months, 

"Just as I found God in my friends and in my children, I realized that a meal could become a quiet time.  Through my awareness of and gratitude for oatmeal with brown sugar, figs, and oranges, or mixed green lettuce and mushrooms, or horseradish sauce on a thinly sliced filet.  I deeply reflected on the good nature of God.  I truly learned what it means to 'taste and see that the Lord is good' (Psalm 34:8).  We get so prescriptive with the spiritual life.  We pre-package what it means to have quiet time, and then we duplicate it, mass-produce it, insist upon it, and brag about it.  We make it a formula: thirty minutes in the morning, prayer that includes adoration, confession, thanksgiving, and supplication, and then, of course, we journal." 

(Looking for God, Nancy Ortberg)

This has brought me so much freedom.  For years I have got up every morning and spent my time with the Lord.  Those hours spent pouring my life out and searching for directions on the pages of my journals changed my life no doubt but they also became something that I was dependent on.  It was a great feeling to be so dependent on your time spent with the Lord.  It wasn't until that time or my availability to have that time was taken away that I realized a relationship with God and the strength I found in him had to come from something so much more than a scheduled quiet time.  I have begun to see that God is all around.  There are chances to praise Him all day.  There are ways to honor Him in all I do.  I don't have to sit down and have thirty minutes in the morning to get a check mark from God.  I have to raise Godly children.  I have to honor him when dealing with difficult people at the grocery.  I have to give to those less fortunate than me and so on.  Encountering God happens all the time, He does not live in a box or sit at at table and wait for my prayer journal time to begin.  Instead He walks beside you all day long, He guides you, and He holds you.  No more guilt when, after being up all night with a newborn, you can't make it to your thirty minutes in the morning.  No more beating yourself up over empty pages of a prayer journal. There are so many ways to meet with and experience God.   Find what works best for you and do it and remember that life changes and so do the ways you meet with the real and living God.  He wants to know you.