Last weekend I took Ella to see Beauty and the Beast at Middletown High School. Of course she insist that she wear her Princess Belle costume. Against my better judgment I allowed her to go as a princess. It was a special mother daughter day with my girl. 

I have been so busy with school stuff and church stuff lately I haven't had enough of those moments. I don't want my girls to grow up. I want to keep them little and in my arms and in my house and in my car. I want to make all of the hard decisions for them and keep their lives pure.  This world is out to get them, it is out to destroy them. And believe it or not it sends a very convincing message. But I am not buying in because I have two little girls that have to follow me. And they will not follow me to destruction - they will follow me to life.

Romans 12:1-2, "So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."

Father, I pray that I stand out. As much as I try to fit in please help me not to. I want to be like you. I want to serve you. Help me not to fall prey to the distractions of this world. Keep me purely focused on you so that my girls may follow me as I follow you. Guard their little hearts and minds. Wrap your arms around them and hold them so close to you. May they always trust in you. Bless them O'God. Thank you for giving them to me. May we honor you with our lives. 

Hiatus

So I guess I have been on a blogging hiatus for quite some time. Deal is I just really had too much going on. I started back up on my Masters and had way too much homework. I was still helping Dave at the VCC by writing children's cirriculum, leading a Beth Moore small group and I was given the privilege of teaching a couple different times these past few months. On top of all that Addy had to get tubes in her ears (YUCK). Oh and did I mention we HAD to go to Florida for two weeks. I think that one was the hardest, of course. 

God has been working though. He has challenged me in so many ways. Over the past month I feel like I have been through a personal inventory in my own life. It's amazing how each time you put together a lesson to teach to a group of young people you leave the one that had the biggest heart check.

Romans 12:1-2 says  ^1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

The process of yielding to the Lord and running past this world is a daily thing but it is a thing that I want to do. It amazes me how we get bogged down. So I don't struggle with KEY sins - but really are key sins anyways. How many times in the last month have I impatiently responded to my children or to the man in the car next to me. or how many times have I set a bad example or how many times have I  allowed the beauty and the dream to fit in a be accepted in this culture to lure me in and convince me I needed to take things to the next level. How many times have I set aside my quiet time to do something that makes life in this world easier. Fitting in has to no longer be a priority in my life and it should no longer be a priority in yours. I want Jesus in excess.

I love Christmas, not only is it my birthday, but now it is little Addy's birthday as well (or 2 days after Christmas anyways). There is something different stirring inside me this Christmas though. I love giving, getting, and buying presents. I love watching Ella's face when she gets the best thing in the world-  but it all seems different this year. Something inside of me would rather see the face of someone less fortunate opening something they never thought they'd have. How can I want more when I already have so much. God is prompting in me a spirit to give. I want to give outside the walls of my family. I want my children to want to give. I want to make a difference in the lives of those in this world around us. But where do you even start? I talked to Dave this morning and I guess God has been prompting his heart as well because he quickly agreed. We need to give a special gift to our Church this Christmas. No doubt everyone, every organization is struggling financially during this time but the Vineyard needs our help and they need our help to do the right things. So many lives are being changed at that place. I am amazed everyday to hear the stories I hear. I am jealous that Dave gets to work at such an amazing place and I am so blessed to even get to go. I know our money is not much but if God prompted the hearts of the 6,000 people that attend the Vineyard the way he did ours a little bit adds up to a lot. I guess small things done with love really will change the world. 

Job 31:23-28, 

4 "If I have put my trust in gold or said to pure gold, 'You are my security,' if I have rejoiced over my great wealth, the fortune my hands had gained, if I have regarded the sun in its radiance or the moon moving in splendor, so that my heart was secretly enticed and my hand offered them a kiss of homage then these also would be sins to be judged,  for I would have been unfaithful to God on high."

God - forgive me for putting my trust and my value in the things this world has to offer me. Help me to put my trust in you, help me to give the way you have given to me. Give me your eyes so I can see and give me your heart so I can give. Instead of the gift of want, want, want help me to pass on the gift of give, give, give to my girls. 

I can't believe it has almost been a year since Addy joined our family. She is such a great part it is hard to remember what it was like without her. She brings so much joy to our home. What a difference a year makes. So many things have changed for me this year. I have gone from full time ministry at my home church of 27 years - where I was constantly surrounded by youth, teaching, preaching, organizing, and outreaching to supporting my husband a his new place in ministry at the Vineyard, staying home raising my girls, and desperately trying to find my place in this new role. I love being a mom, I love staying home with my girls, and I love having a husband that is so passionate about ministry. I am so thankful that life has not been about me this year. I am guilty of thinking God has big plans for my life and forgetting to remember about the plans he has for the lives around me. I have learned more and been challenged more as an individual than ever before. Funny how when you take the focus off yourself and you begin to serve others and support others God is quick to make sure you are taken care of as well. I don't know what God has in store for me this next year but I am excited to say I will serve and support my family with the anticipation of big things.

Thank you God for blessing my life. May I honor you with the way I cherish my blessings. My cup overflows. To you be all the glory forever and ever

I am thankful for...

my sweet husband 

my sweet girls

that I can stay home and be a mom right now

the influence I have over my girls

lower gas prices

the Vineyard

God's call on my life

God's call on my husband's life

my family being so close to us

having help raising my girls

chocolate chunk brownies with white icing

coffee in the morning

my friends

my best friend, Crystal

my house

my past experiences that have shaped me

that God is still working with me on patience

that God is who He says He is

that I have power through Him

that eventually, through Him I can become a patient mom (even with no sleep)

I want to remember all that I am thankful for more often. Thanksgiving and Christmas should not be the exception. 

Thank you God that you have blessed me and my family. You have given us so much life. You have given us so much period. Even though I do not deserve the least of it you still stand by me and lift me up. Help me to realize daily how much you have given me. I love you so much. May I be a blessing to others because of the mighty works you have done in my life. I give you all the praises. 

I love you Father, Amen. 

Today may be one of the three best days of my life. We are on vacation but that's not why. Dave and I got to have one of the best conversations with Ella today. I will never forget this moment. It went something like this.
Daddy those girls in my book are mean
Oh really Ella, why are they mean
Because they don't have Jesus in their heart
How do you know they don't have Jesus in their heart
Because they are mean daddy
Mommy, I told Daddy that the girls in my book are mean because they don't have Jesus in their heart
That's right Ella
Do I have Jesus in my heart mommy
Well, Ella you have to ask Jesus to come and live in your heart, is that something that you want to do
Yea
All you have to do is ask Jesus to come and live in your heart and he will
Then I will be good
Well, Ella, you are already so good but Jesus will come and live in your heart and help you be even better
Okay mommy
At this point in time I sent her to Dave since this is his speciality but I stood in the doorway and listened to their conversation...
So, Ella you know that Jesus loves you
Yes Daddy
And you know he loved you so much that he died for you and he wants to live in your heart forever
Yes Daddy and he will make me a better person
Okay Ella well the Bible says you have to ask Jesus to come into your heart so I am going to pray and you need to repeat after me okay.
Okay
Dear Jesus
I love you
Thank you for loving me
I am sorry for the times I am bad
Please come into my heart and live
Help me to be a better girl
I love you
Amen
Ella: Now Jesus lives in my heart daddy?
Yea Ella
Mommy guess what
what Ella
Jesus lives in my heart!

and then we threw a party and called all the grandma's and grandpa's and mimi's and uncle david's and told them that Jesus now lived in Ella's heart

Oh man, I love this girl so much. my heart has been so blessed today to know that Ella's name is written on God's book of life. He has big plans for her life. way bigger than we could ever dream. I am so blessed to walk through this world with her. Thank you Jesus for dying for my daughter. I love you so much

Life has been crazy busy lately. But I am loving every minute of this craziness with my girls! God has blessed me so much.

I am pushing to become and example for others to follow. More so I am pushing to become an example that I want my girls to follow. I want to stand before them as they grow up and say come and follow me as I follow Christ. I want them to see and grow up with a mom that is crazy in love with Jesus. I want them to want what I have for themselves. I want to inspire them.

Father make me someone that my girls can follow. Give me peace, and patience, give me a gentle spirit. May my words be uplifting and pleasing to you in every way. Thank you for my family, I am so blessed. Use me to change them. Use them to grow me. 

I love you