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Four years ago on this night I was laying in the hospital holding this sweet little baby. I lived in disbelief that I had been entrusted to care for such a small, perfect, totally dependent little girl. I lived in awe of how much I loved her even though we had just met. I second guessed every thing I did. I thought twice about ever step we took. I held her as she slept and thanked God for his blessings. I prayed over her future every night as she lay in her bed. I nestled close to her in the morning when she woke me up at 5:30 a.m. I dropped everything to take care of her every need, to address her every whimper, to make sure that she was perfectly content and taken care of. And I counted it all a privilege. 

It's funny how the things that we love the most about someone or something are the same things that drive us crazy once the "honeymoon" is over. In the beginning we are so careful, we are so patient, we are so loving, and we are so selfless. Then we adjust - we get used to it- we get comfortable and we forget why we fell in love in the first place.  Things creep in when we forget to remember how blessed we are each and every day. 

Father - Whether it be with my children, with my husband, or in the ministry I do may I always remember how passionately I did them at first and may I strive to always, consistently, give them my all. Take the distractions of life away so that I may fully surrender myself to the blessings you have given me. Thank you for four great, life-changing years. Thank you for little Ella. Pour your blessings upon her sweet spirit. Guard her heart, guide her feet, and hold her hand as she walks through this world. May I be an example to her in all that I do and all that I say. Use me in her life Father. I love you and I need you - <><