The best present ever

Something happened in the Dooley house this Christmas that made it unlike any Christmas before. Five nights ago laying in little Addy's bed with her she prayed a sweet little prayer with me asking Jesus into her heart. I am humbled by her ability to truly experience, know, and believe in the Savior of the world.
I know it was her doing because for weeks she has been asking me the hardest questions. How does God get down for heaven? Where is heaven? What does God do when he is not in heaven? I have been speechless in front of her many times as I tried to put what my Savior did into terms she will understand and accept. But they were not my words, they were His and they left an impact that forever changed the future of sweet Addy cakes. This Christmas I celebrate Jesus' birth, my Savior, my Redeemer, my Rock, and my King, but I also celebrate Addy's new life in him.
Thank you Jesus that you died for my baby girl. I find comfort knowing that she is your temple and you are now her Father. I know you have plans for her. Guide her and grow her as you prepare her. Guard her heart from this world and help her eyes to stay focused on you. Help me to be a mom that makes her want to know you more. Use me to grow her. Use her to grow me. You have given me the most precious gift. May the way I treasure it make you
proud.
I love you sweet Jesus, reign in my life, reign in my home,reign in my family.

Proud Momma

Some things seem so simple in the eyes of a child. Ella, my almost 6 year old, came home from school at the beginning of the week telling me about the issues she was having with another girl in her class. I thought this was strange because Ella has yet to have any "issue" with any child in her class and the school year is almost over. In fact on her report card sent home a few months ago the comment from Mrs. Evans was, "Ella is a friend to all." So I put aside what I was doing and asked Ella to tell me what happened with Shanine (that's what we'll call her). She continued on to tell me that Shanine was blamming stuff on her that she did not do and that she would take her supplies from her and not give them back. I asked Ella how she responded to Shanine when she was mean to her. She told me she did nothing and just tried to ignore it. Which is a great answer but then I remembered what she learned in Church this past weekend. She learned that she can tell others that Jesus loves them with words and with actions and that sometimes people just really need to hear it. I reminded Ella what she had been learning and asked her if she thought Shanine knew that Jesus loved her? To which she said, "of course mom, everyone knows that." I said, "Not everyone knows that and sometimes that they just need to hear that someone loves them." I challenged Ella to tell Shanine that Jesus loved her the next time she started bothering her at school the next day. Her response wasn't great - she wasn't thrilled - she was a bit scared - but she didn't shut me down either. Not really thinking that she would even remember this conversation I tucked her in and told her I loved her.

The next day Ella comes home from school and tells me that Shanine was being mean to her again. I asked her what happened and she told me she took her math block during free time. Ella said she looked for another one but couldn't find anymore -then she looked at Shanine and said, "Shanine, Jesus loves you." I quickly asked Ella what Shanine said in return and Ella and she said, (with her hands on her hip) well, I don't love Jesus!" I laughed nervously and asked Ella what she said next. "Well mom," she said, "I told her that's fine but I am going to tell her everyday until she believes me!"
That next morning I walked into Ella's school to drop her off (yes I am one of those mom's that walks all the way in). Ella's teacher was waiting for me with a huge smile on her face. She told me what had happened between Ella and her little friend Shanine the day before and told me how proud I should be of Ella and her willingness to put herself out there and be rejected. I was very proud indeed and that level of pride grew all throughout the day as I began to realize what a huge thing this was for Ella to accomplish at such a young age. I still hold back sharing Christ's love with others because I fear rejection. I fear that I won't have the right words or my life might not live up to the example Christ calls us to set. I most certainly fear that uncomfortable feeling that comes over a conversation that takes a turn not both parties want to take. Sure, I share Christ in my actions on a daily basis. But I am less willing to verbalize how much God loves someone when I am not sure how they will respond - especially someone that is being mean to me!!!

What changes? What changes to make us care more about what others think of us than follow through on what God has called us to do. And why do we stop after one try? Why are will not willing to remind them every single day until they believe us? Why are we so easily defeated?

I have been challenged by my five-year old this week. To step it out and share the message -even everyday if someone needs me to - at least until they believe it!

Thanks Ella for your faith! And thank you for being willing to do what it takes!!! I love you!!!

Happy Birthday

Can't believe it's been 2 years already- Happy Birthday Sweet Girl - you will never know how much I love you!

Spiritual integrity

"Perhaps you have discovered the same truth that has awakened many parents: Raising children pushes parents to mature in their faith as much as it moves children toward spiritual wholeness. if you are struggling with particular aspects of raising your child, especially in relation to the faith dimension, step back and evaluate your behavior. you may discover that while you are able to voice the appropriate concepts to your young ones, your behavior negates those words. The 'do as I say, not as I do,' approach is increasingly incompatible with effective influence upon children," (George Barna, Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions.)

When your children look past your assigned role to ponder your spiritual integrity, what do they see?
More than anything in the world I want to impact my girls for Christ. I want them to see a consistent, authentic, open relationship with a perfect God. I want them to want to know the God that I know, to want to be chaged in the same ways He changed me, to desire to serve Him and grow in Him. More than anything I want them to buy into the fact that God has HUGE plans for their young lives. That He ALWAYS has their best interest in mind and that He is trusthworthy. I want them to know that God is patient, loving, kind, and gentle with his children. And I don't want them to know all of this because they can read. I want them to know this because they have seen it lived out in every day life.
No one knows me like my girls know me. They know the great, they know the good, but they also know the ugly. They are there when patience runs out, when gentleness is nowhere to be found, and when I feel like the person I am is not really me.
I am being stretched. I am being stretched because if I tell Ella not to yell at her sister but then ten minutes later I turn around and yell at her sister I am contradicting myself. Eventually Ella is going to wise up to the fact that what I say is not necessarily what I do. Or when I say life is not always just about you but turn around and make some situation all about me - what I am really teaching them is that even though mommy says life is not about me sometimes it can be.
When my girls are grown I don't want them looking back and saying they did what I said and not what I did. I want them to look back and be thankful for the example set before them. When I was young I thought that the hardest part of being a Christian was saying no to certain sins and denying ourselves certain lifestyles. But I am learning the hardest part of being a Christian is learning to go with the fact that you are in a state of constant transformation.
Father - Continue to do a work in me. It is only through your power that I am able to be who I need to be for my girls. Your grace is sufficient Father - Be strong in me.

summer's over

Life has been crazy this summer. I wouldn't have it any other way though. I think I sometimes attract craziness. And sometimes I feel incomplete without it. Lots have happened this summer - too much to tell you in the few minutes I have before both my girls are screaming for my attention.

I learned that God's timing is perfect and that no matter how capable I feel I am of doing something if i would just want and intrust it in the hands of the Maker of Heaven and Earth it will be way better than anything I bring about.

I learned that life is all about perspective and if I am having a hard time with something it is likely I just need to change my perspective on the situation and look at it through someone else's eyes. Amazing how my hard times do not seem so bad when I look at some of the other things people are going through

I learned that I have a whole lot more to learn but I have a whole lot of time to do it. I don't have to be so rushed and learn so quickly that I forget as soon as I turn around.

I learned that I sometimes put people in boxes and expect them to act a certain way simply because of what I think I know about them. I need to pay more attention to people's lives before I jump to conclusions that I know who they are.

I learned that if I went through high school and middle school when I was in my late 20's I wouldn't be so caught up in who's who and who's doing what. I would use my time more wisely taking every opportunity to lift people up instead of tearing them down.

I learned that the desires of my heart were given me to me for a reason and if they have withstood the test of time it may be my fault that they haven't come to pass. Sometimes you have to get up and do something.

Finally, I learned that distance really does make the heart grow fonder. I have the best, best friend in the entire world and though I wish that she were closer to me right now I love the fact that we are both doing what we are doing exactly where God wants us.

Oh, and I learned that I seriously LOVE my girls and my husband. I mean seriously - more than I ever thought I was capable of loving.

Socks and Dollar bins

Ella hates to wear socks and them not be pulled up all the way. She hates it something terribly. Like so much that it will ruin the start to a perfectly good day. The majority of the time my 4 year old is very reasonable and easy going but get a wrinkle in her sock and it is all over. 

Her reactions vary - sometimes she may start to cry, sometimes she may lay down on the floor and throw an all out fit, or sometimes she will take her socks off and refuse to wear anything I suggest. No matter what the reaction is I assure you there is whining involved. I have learned something very valuable through all this - it's all about having the right socks. Apparently, no one wants to wear socks with all the little strings on the inside of them. In the winter high socks are good because she can pull them up as high as she wants. And in the summer ankle sock are good because, once again, she can pull them up as high as she wants. 

Starting a morning off wrong when you have two small children can set everything off balance so I have learned to keep the peace by avoiding the wrong things.

 I think I am learning this in life as well. If there is something that causes a rise out of us the way that wrinkly socks do my 4 year old than we need to make the adjustments to not allow that to happen. You see, it's like this - Ella wants to buy the Hello Kitty socks in the dollar bins at Target. They are cute and colorful and fun and cheap. But I know that though it may be fun for a bit ultimately it is going to cause problems in the future. We have to learn the same things with our lives. Just because we may like doing certain things or being certain places  doesn't necessarily mean that they will leave us feeling that same way when we leave.  Just because a song on the radio is good or a certain t.v. show is funny doesn't mean that we aren't going to be left with a wrinkle in the end.  When making a choice about life one should put as much thought into it as you do when you go to buy socks. You know what you want to wear and you know what you like and at the end of the day you are going to buy the socks that make you happy when you put them on each morning. When you make decisions on what to do with your life think about the outcome. At the end of the day are you going to be better off because you have gone through with a decision or because you have surrounded yourself with the company you have chosen or are you going to be left feeling uneasy -sort of like the feeling you get when you have wrinkles in the bottom of your socks. 

Satan lives to get a foothold on our life and at any given moment he will seize the opportunity to take a feeling, a situation, an activity and turn it into something way more than it was ever meant to be. We give him too much of a foothold when we do not protect the places we go, the things we watch and listen to, and the situations we allow ourselves to be put in. He is way more crafty than we acknowledge and something that was meant to be fun and easy can leave us feeling worn and tired. 

Proverbs 13:20-23, "He who walks with the wise grows wise,  but a companion of fools suffers harm. Misfortune pursues the sinner, but prosperity is the reward of the righteous. A good man leaves an inheritance for his children's children, but a sinner's wealth is stored up for the righteous."

4

Four years ago on this night I was laying in the hospital holding this sweet little baby. I lived in disbelief that I had been entrusted to care for such a small, perfect, totally dependent little girl. I lived in awe of how much I loved her even though we had just met. I second guessed every thing I did. I thought twice about ever step we took. I held her as she slept and thanked God for his blessings. I prayed over her future every night as she lay in her bed. I nestled close to her in the morning when she woke me up at 5:30 a.m. I dropped everything to take care of her every need, to address her every whimper, to make sure that she was perfectly content and taken care of. And I counted it all a privilege. 

It's funny how the things that we love the most about someone or something are the same things that drive us crazy once the "honeymoon" is over. In the beginning we are so careful, we are so patient, we are so loving, and we are so selfless. Then we adjust - we get used to it- we get comfortable and we forget why we fell in love in the first place.  Things creep in when we forget to remember how blessed we are each and every day. 

Father - Whether it be with my children, with my husband, or in the ministry I do may I always remember how passionately I did them at first and may I strive to always, consistently, give them my all. Take the distractions of life away so that I may fully surrender myself to the blessings you have given me. Thank you for four great, life-changing years. Thank you for little Ella. Pour your blessings upon her sweet spirit. Guard her heart, guide her feet, and hold her hand as she walks through this world. May I be an example to her in all that I do and all that I say. Use me in her life Father. I love you and I need you - <><