Happy Birthday

Can't believe it's been 2 years already- Happy Birthday Sweet Girl - you will never know how much I love you!

Spiritual integrity

"Perhaps you have discovered the same truth that has awakened many parents: Raising children pushes parents to mature in their faith as much as it moves children toward spiritual wholeness. if you are struggling with particular aspects of raising your child, especially in relation to the faith dimension, step back and evaluate your behavior. you may discover that while you are able to voice the appropriate concepts to your young ones, your behavior negates those words. The 'do as I say, not as I do,' approach is increasingly incompatible with effective influence upon children," (George Barna, Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions.)

When your children look past your assigned role to ponder your spiritual integrity, what do they see?
More than anything in the world I want to impact my girls for Christ. I want them to see a consistent, authentic, open relationship with a perfect God. I want them to want to know the God that I know, to want to be chaged in the same ways He changed me, to desire to serve Him and grow in Him. More than anything I want them to buy into the fact that God has HUGE plans for their young lives. That He ALWAYS has their best interest in mind and that He is trusthworthy. I want them to know that God is patient, loving, kind, and gentle with his children. And I don't want them to know all of this because they can read. I want them to know this because they have seen it lived out in every day life.
No one knows me like my girls know me. They know the great, they know the good, but they also know the ugly. They are there when patience runs out, when gentleness is nowhere to be found, and when I feel like the person I am is not really me.
I am being stretched. I am being stretched because if I tell Ella not to yell at her sister but then ten minutes later I turn around and yell at her sister I am contradicting myself. Eventually Ella is going to wise up to the fact that what I say is not necessarily what I do. Or when I say life is not always just about you but turn around and make some situation all about me - what I am really teaching them is that even though mommy says life is not about me sometimes it can be.
When my girls are grown I don't want them looking back and saying they did what I said and not what I did. I want them to look back and be thankful for the example set before them. When I was young I thought that the hardest part of being a Christian was saying no to certain sins and denying ourselves certain lifestyles. But I am learning the hardest part of being a Christian is learning to go with the fact that you are in a state of constant transformation.
Father - Continue to do a work in me. It is only through your power that I am able to be who I need to be for my girls. Your grace is sufficient Father - Be strong in me.

summer's over

Life has been crazy this summer. I wouldn't have it any other way though. I think I sometimes attract craziness. And sometimes I feel incomplete without it. Lots have happened this summer - too much to tell you in the few minutes I have before both my girls are screaming for my attention.

I learned that God's timing is perfect and that no matter how capable I feel I am of doing something if i would just want and intrust it in the hands of the Maker of Heaven and Earth it will be way better than anything I bring about.

I learned that life is all about perspective and if I am having a hard time with something it is likely I just need to change my perspective on the situation and look at it through someone else's eyes. Amazing how my hard times do not seem so bad when I look at some of the other things people are going through

I learned that I have a whole lot more to learn but I have a whole lot of time to do it. I don't have to be so rushed and learn so quickly that I forget as soon as I turn around.

I learned that I sometimes put people in boxes and expect them to act a certain way simply because of what I think I know about them. I need to pay more attention to people's lives before I jump to conclusions that I know who they are.

I learned that if I went through high school and middle school when I was in my late 20's I wouldn't be so caught up in who's who and who's doing what. I would use my time more wisely taking every opportunity to lift people up instead of tearing them down.

I learned that the desires of my heart were given me to me for a reason and if they have withstood the test of time it may be my fault that they haven't come to pass. Sometimes you have to get up and do something.

Finally, I learned that distance really does make the heart grow fonder. I have the best, best friend in the entire world and though I wish that she were closer to me right now I love the fact that we are both doing what we are doing exactly where God wants us.

Oh, and I learned that I seriously LOVE my girls and my husband. I mean seriously - more than I ever thought I was capable of loving.

Socks and Dollar bins

Ella hates to wear socks and them not be pulled up all the way. She hates it something terribly. Like so much that it will ruin the start to a perfectly good day. The majority of the time my 4 year old is very reasonable and easy going but get a wrinkle in her sock and it is all over. 

Her reactions vary - sometimes she may start to cry, sometimes she may lay down on the floor and throw an all out fit, or sometimes she will take her socks off and refuse to wear anything I suggest. No matter what the reaction is I assure you there is whining involved. I have learned something very valuable through all this - it's all about having the right socks. Apparently, no one wants to wear socks with all the little strings on the inside of them. In the winter high socks are good because she can pull them up as high as she wants. And in the summer ankle sock are good because, once again, she can pull them up as high as she wants. 

Starting a morning off wrong when you have two small children can set everything off balance so I have learned to keep the peace by avoiding the wrong things.

 I think I am learning this in life as well. If there is something that causes a rise out of us the way that wrinkly socks do my 4 year old than we need to make the adjustments to not allow that to happen. You see, it's like this - Ella wants to buy the Hello Kitty socks in the dollar bins at Target. They are cute and colorful and fun and cheap. But I know that though it may be fun for a bit ultimately it is going to cause problems in the future. We have to learn the same things with our lives. Just because we may like doing certain things or being certain places  doesn't necessarily mean that they will leave us feeling that same way when we leave.  Just because a song on the radio is good or a certain t.v. show is funny doesn't mean that we aren't going to be left with a wrinkle in the end.  When making a choice about life one should put as much thought into it as you do when you go to buy socks. You know what you want to wear and you know what you like and at the end of the day you are going to buy the socks that make you happy when you put them on each morning. When you make decisions on what to do with your life think about the outcome. At the end of the day are you going to be better off because you have gone through with a decision or because you have surrounded yourself with the company you have chosen or are you going to be left feeling uneasy -sort of like the feeling you get when you have wrinkles in the bottom of your socks. 

Satan lives to get a foothold on our life and at any given moment he will seize the opportunity to take a feeling, a situation, an activity and turn it into something way more than it was ever meant to be. We give him too much of a foothold when we do not protect the places we go, the things we watch and listen to, and the situations we allow ourselves to be put in. He is way more crafty than we acknowledge and something that was meant to be fun and easy can leave us feeling worn and tired. 

Proverbs 13:20-23, "He who walks with the wise grows wise,  but a companion of fools suffers harm. Misfortune pursues the sinner, but prosperity is the reward of the righteous. A good man leaves an inheritance for his children's children, but a sinner's wealth is stored up for the righteous."

4

Four years ago on this night I was laying in the hospital holding this sweet little baby. I lived in disbelief that I had been entrusted to care for such a small, perfect, totally dependent little girl. I lived in awe of how much I loved her even though we had just met. I second guessed every thing I did. I thought twice about ever step we took. I held her as she slept and thanked God for his blessings. I prayed over her future every night as she lay in her bed. I nestled close to her in the morning when she woke me up at 5:30 a.m. I dropped everything to take care of her every need, to address her every whimper, to make sure that she was perfectly content and taken care of. And I counted it all a privilege. 

It's funny how the things that we love the most about someone or something are the same things that drive us crazy once the "honeymoon" is over. In the beginning we are so careful, we are so patient, we are so loving, and we are so selfless. Then we adjust - we get used to it- we get comfortable and we forget why we fell in love in the first place.  Things creep in when we forget to remember how blessed we are each and every day. 

Father - Whether it be with my children, with my husband, or in the ministry I do may I always remember how passionately I did them at first and may I strive to always, consistently, give them my all. Take the distractions of life away so that I may fully surrender myself to the blessings you have given me. Thank you for four great, life-changing years. Thank you for little Ella. Pour your blessings upon her sweet spirit. Guard her heart, guide her feet, and hold her hand as she walks through this world. May I be an example to her in all that I do and all that I say. Use me in her life Father. I love you and I need you - <><

I love my momma (and mother in-law) and I love being a mom. Two of the best things in life

Thank you God for the blessings you have given me. May I bring you glory in the way I raise my girls. 

Interruptions

Interruption - To break the continuity or uniformity of: Rain interrupted our baseball game.  Something that is unplanned and gets in the way of your plans

Interruptions happen every day.  Sometimes they are small and impact us little, other times they are huge and keep us from continuing down life’s intended path – either way they are usually life changing

I wonder tonight how many of you are right in the middle of an interruption.  I wonder how many of you have just come out of a major interruption or maybe some of you don’t even know it but you are getting ready to be interrupted in your life.   

Maybe some of you are dealing with divorce – major interruption – that is not the way it is supposed to be – these things were not supposed to happen to you, to your parents.

Maybe some of you are dealing with death – unexpected or expected it is never fun to lose someone you love so dearly

Maybe some of you are dealing with relationship interruptions – you have tried so hard to make this relationship everything you and the Lord want it to be but how did you get to this place you are right now.  How are you so far from him?

Maybe your friendships have been interrupted.  Ever been the target of a mean girl?  Life’s not fun when those around you live to make you miserable.

Or maybe your life with the Lord has been interrupted.  Sin has entered in.  you have become someone you never intended to become – you are in a place you never saw yourself and life has been interrupted in a major way.

Have you ever found it hard to hear from God in the midst of your interruptions?  You search for Him everywhere – in church on Sunday mornings, in youth on Sunday nights, at small group on Wednesdays.  You look for him in the worship, you call out to him at school with your friends.  

Why won’t he answer you, why is he allowing these interruptions to carry on in your life?  What are you missing?  

Psalm 83:1 says, “O God, do not keep silent; be not quiet, O God, be not still.”

Maybe God is speaking to us, maybe He is trying to get through – maybe it is us that has the problem.  We are very good at serving God loudly 

We sing praises to him, we shout out to him, we cry out to him when things are bad – we are a loud group of people

But have you ever thought of looking for him in the silence?  Of listening for his still, small voice when everything else around you has stopped?

Tonight we are going to give God the chance to speak to us rather than us doing all the talking.

Go ahead, think about it, what is just messing with you?  What is it that just isn’t right?  What has broken your heart?  What has changed your future?  What is bothering you?  What are you scared of doing?  Who are you scared of becoming?  What are you scared to lay down?  Write it down now on this piece of paper.

When Jesus came to earth it was a major interruption.  Mary and Joseph were engaged and all the sudden she was pregnant by God.  She was carrying a baby, a baby that was to be named Jesus, Immanuel, God with us – because he will save his people from their sins.

Life was interrupted for Mary and Jospeh that night.  But they responded.  They accepted the interruption, they took to heart the mission that God had given them and they began to raise baby Jesus – the Savior of the world

Life was interrupted when King’s feared Jesus’ young fame.  News spread about a King that had been born, a King that all would bow down to.  

Life was interrupted when King Herod issued that all boys under the age of 2 should be put to death in hopes to eliminate Jesus – the future King.  

Jesus’ life as a young boy was interrupted when he was taken into the desert and tempted by Satan.  He was no longer just a boy.  Now he had to begin a ministry that would ultimately lead to his death

The lives of the disciples were interrupted when Jesus walked by them and told them to drop their nets, leave their families, let the dead bury the dead and follow after him.  

Lives were interrupted when Jesus began teaching, “blessed are the pour in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.  Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.  Blessed are those who hungar and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.  Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.  Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.  Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.  Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.  

To live this way is to interrupt life as the world knows it.  When our enemies hurt us – we turn the other cheek – when someone takes our shirt we are to offer them our coat as well.  

Our lives are interrupted when we realize Christ and the ministry that he did and the huge, everlasting, never-changing interruption that he as a part of.  

“Jesus and his disciples went to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, sit here while I go over there and pray.  He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him and he began to be sorrowful and troubled.  Then he said to them.  My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.  Stay here and keep watch with me. (Matthew 26:36-38)

Jesus understood the interruption that was coming.  He understood that soon he would be called upon to give the ultimate sacrifice.  

His life – “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)

Are you beginning to see that sometimes what we see as interruptions are really opportunities to be changed, used, or moved by God.  

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth,  so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts,” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

“Going a little farther, Jesus fell on his face and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.  Yet not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:39)

He then went away for a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” (Matthew 26:42)

I don’t think Jesus was particulary excited about this interruption.  

It all started when his friends left him, “Now the betrayer arranged a signal with them; the one I kiss is the man; arrest him.  Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, ‘Greetings Rabbi, and kissed him.  Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus and arrested him.  Then all of his disciples deserted him and fled.” (Matthew 26:48-56)

“Meanwhile Jesus stood before the governor, and the governor asked him.  Are you the King of the Jews?”

“It is as you say,” Jesus replied

When he was accused by the chief priests and the elders, he gave no answer.  Then Pilot asked him, “Do you not hear the testimony they are bringing against you?  But Jesus made no reply, not even a single charge – to the amazement of the governor.  

By this time a large crowd had gathered – lives interrupted – by something I’m afraid they did not quite understand.  Everyone stopped what they were doing to be part.  Everyone wanted to see what was causing such a huge interruption.  

“Now it is the governors custom at the Feast to release a prisoner chosen by the crowd.  Barabas, a well known criminal was brought before the crowd, as well as Jesus.  

“Which one do you want me to release to you: Barabbas or Jesus who is called Christ.” (Matthew 27:17)

“Barabbas!” they answered. “What then shall I do with Jesus?” Pilate asked.  

“Crucify him!”

“Why, what crime has he committed?”

“Crucify him!” when Pilate saw that he was getting nowhere with the crowd he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd. “I am innocent of this man’s blood,” he said, “It is your responsibility.”

Then he released Barabbas to them, but had Jesus handed over to be flogged

Life was interrupted.  Jesus was sentenced to be beaten and then to be crucified.  Jesus’ life was majorly interrupted.  The lives of his family – interrupted – the lives of his followers – interrupted  - our lives – interrupted by the realization of what he did for us

To those there at that time the death of Jesus seemed like a useless interruption.  There could be no glory in this, there could be no victory in this.  Only defeat, only discouragement, only hurt

Sounds a lot like the way we feel when we are in the midst of an interruption.  What good could come of this?  Why would God allow such a thing to happen to me?  What have I don’t to deserve this treatment?  Why won’t he answer me?  

But God was there that day – the day that his son was crucified I believe he looked on with a tear in his eye for the pain his son was experiencing, but a smile on his face as he looked ahead at what was to come

John 3:16-17, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. “

Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

God was not interrupted.  This was his plan all along.  He knew that we were going to mess up.  He understood that we were not strong enough to make it on our own.  But he loved us so much that he figured a way out.  

If we will just believe – if we will just accept 

God’s ways are perfect – even when we don’t understand

“Let all the earth fear the Lord; let all the people of the world revere him.  For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm.  The Lord spoils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the people.  But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.” (Psalm 33:8-11)

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

“All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it.”  (1 Corinthians 10:13 message)

Now remember the interruption you thought of earlier

What do you think God may be trying to do through this interruption in your life? Do you understand now that there is a reason for it, do you understand that if you trust in him with all your heart then he will make your way straight?

What is God saying to you right now?

Great – have you heard his voice tonight?  Have you seen how powerful his Words are?  Have you witnessed the interruption in the life of Christ and his followers that God made in to the best thing that has ever happened to us?

 

You have just experienced Christ in the silence. 

Father, thank you for your interruptions.  Thank you for the cross and for the difference that it has made in our lives.  Thank you for your word and the impact it makes in all that we face.  Thank you for your spirit for moving in our lives and showing us that your plans are not always our plans, nor are your ways, our ways.  Thank you for your love – that you would sacrifice your son so that we may have life to the fullest.  

We love you

Last weekend I took Ella to see Beauty and the Beast at Middletown High School. Of course she insist that she wear her Princess Belle costume. Against my better judgment I allowed her to go as a princess. It was a special mother daughter day with my girl. 

I have been so busy with school stuff and church stuff lately I haven't had enough of those moments. I don't want my girls to grow up. I want to keep them little and in my arms and in my house and in my car. I want to make all of the hard decisions for them and keep their lives pure.  This world is out to get them, it is out to destroy them. And believe it or not it sends a very convincing message. But I am not buying in because I have two little girls that have to follow me. And they will not follow me to destruction - they will follow me to life.

Romans 12:1-2, "So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."

Father, I pray that I stand out. As much as I try to fit in please help me not to. I want to be like you. I want to serve you. Help me not to fall prey to the distractions of this world. Keep me purely focused on you so that my girls may follow me as I follow you. Guard their little hearts and minds. Wrap your arms around them and hold them so close to you. May they always trust in you. Bless them O'God. Thank you for giving them to me. May we honor you with our lives. 

Hiatus

So I guess I have been on a blogging hiatus for quite some time. Deal is I just really had too much going on. I started back up on my Masters and had way too much homework. I was still helping Dave at the VCC by writing children's cirriculum, leading a Beth Moore small group and I was given the privilege of teaching a couple different times these past few months. On top of all that Addy had to get tubes in her ears (YUCK). Oh and did I mention we HAD to go to Florida for two weeks. I think that one was the hardest, of course. 

God has been working though. He has challenged me in so many ways. Over the past month I feel like I have been through a personal inventory in my own life. It's amazing how each time you put together a lesson to teach to a group of young people you leave the one that had the biggest heart check.

Romans 12:1-2 says  ^1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

The process of yielding to the Lord and running past this world is a daily thing but it is a thing that I want to do. It amazes me how we get bogged down. So I don't struggle with KEY sins - but really are key sins anyways. How many times in the last month have I impatiently responded to my children or to the man in the car next to me. or how many times have I set a bad example or how many times have I  allowed the beauty and the dream to fit in a be accepted in this culture to lure me in and convince me I needed to take things to the next level. How many times have I set aside my quiet time to do something that makes life in this world easier. Fitting in has to no longer be a priority in my life and it should no longer be a priority in yours. I want Jesus in excess.